Why?

A person passing away in our lives is inevitable. It's the law of nature that has always been in place. We know that nobody will live forever, yet we as people to this day, still do not understand why this happens. It's the question we wrestle with in our minds and in our hearts. We spin it. We grapple with it. We push it away only for it to reappear again. That question of why? Why do our loved one's have to pass away? What are we suppose to take away from their passing? And how can someone so important just be taken away in the blink of an eye?

Why?

Earlier today, two basketball coaches at Oklahoma State, head coach Kurt Budke, 50, and 36 year old  assistant coach Miranda Serna, along with three other passengers, passed away in a plane crash. Budke, husband and father of three, was described as "a man of character and an exemplary leader". Serna, a former player of Budke's, was said to be a rising college coach and an excellent recruiter.

Why?

How come these two very loved and impacting people, who sought to teach young women the game of basketball and were role models in the community, were taken from their family, friends, and community? It is no wonder we are always left with more questions than answers in these matters. When something tragic hits, where two young and good people are ripped away at a moments notice, is there any wonder why so many people look at life with consternation and diffidence. We live in a world where we are always looking around waiting for the other shoe to drop. We live in a world of juxtapositions: the joy and misery. Laughter and tears. Life and death.

Why?

Looking back at the times I have been hit by a loved one's death I follow the same pattern of shock, denial, anger, sadness, and finally reflection. It is the very last part of the pattern, reflection, that I believe is the key in trying to grapple with the tragedy that has struck our lives. It is upon that introspection that the "why" we ask ourselves is somewhat answered. It is in remembering that person- their body of work as a person, what they meant to us, what they taught us, how they made people feel- that makes us take stock of our own lives. For a better part of our lives we are so concerned and caught up with getting from one day to the next that we hardly have a moment to stop and truly evaluate ourselves. As people we over value past events while looking too far forward in the future in a series of "what could be" scenarios. Rarely, do we stop in the moment and think of how are we doing as a friend, a husband/wife, a family member, as a person. We are consumed with reacting to life and what it brings instead of truly living in the moment when we can be better as a person. That is what coach Budke and coach Serna asked of themselves each day. That idea is what they taught and strived to deliver to their players, their family, and their community. The idea to be better than you are in the moments you are given.

Death is cruel and it is not fair. It takes great and very much loved people away from us all too soon. Why? I don't know. Nobody knows. But when you reflect on the life of someone you realize the teaching, the passion, and the love they imparted upon us and that you must carry that very essence in your own daily life. And that right there is something you don't have to question.